Fucked.

I can't take it anymore. Having my past mistakes rubbed in my face constantly like you really do enjoy it. I have fucked up a lot, I admit that but I have the ability to always fix it.

Its the simple things like forgetting to put away the clothes. It is nothing to scream over. I already feel pathetic as it is and now here you are belittling me more as each passing minute goes by. Just to add salt to my wounds you go head and tell me how I never improve. You seriously do not know how hard I am trying to be a better person for you. I try to make you happy by buying you presents, talking to you more than I have before, getting better grades, and cleaning. But it is always something little like not putting the clothes away to tick you off . . .

I have done the things that you wanted. I got a job. I got my permit and I am getting better at driving. I pay for dad's lunches sometimes so you don't have to. I am trying, I wish you can see my efforts and not blow them off like it is nothing. I'm so tired of crying like this and wishing that you can see all the things that I am willing to do for you and this family. I wish you can see how many times I have beat myself up for being a horrible daughter. I wish I could be a normal daughter with a normal mother.