oh i tried :P

oh to be disconnected. i blame the female anatomy of this feeling or maybe my wild anxiety or i shouldnt blame anything else but myself. ha i always result in blaming myself, how sad.
now a days i feel mute, as if i have everything to say but nothing comes out. oh gosh complaining again ill stop.

for the past few days ive been woken up the most amazing way. haha it sounds cheezy but im a girl and of course its like edward cullen status you know; melting when you hear it. eff jacob. (BTW new moon movie comes out at 12 tonight, for those lucky bastards who are gonna go camp out to see it) lmao ima go all stephenie mayer on this part for shits and giggles:
i breathed him in lightly. i didnt care for the world around me right at that moment. chills ran from my thighs to the tips of my fingers as he squeezed me tighter, and i melted.
breathed him in again as if this one would be the last time. it was the kind of scent, the kind of heat that you can stay in for days. thats when i wanted to scoot closer but he did that for me, entangling his legs with mine as if they were roots and i was the soil he would get nourishment from. organic. he opened his eyes, there his gaze caught mine and i was caught speechless. i wanted to say something perfect but i didnt want to speak a word to ruin the moment.
oh his eyes, these brown eyes, that somehow seem different from all the other synthetic boyish eyes ive seen. its funny to look into it, their not just brown, theres a darker ring around it and inside it was lighter that made my heart fluttered, then skipped a beat, then proceeded to beat even faster although everything was calm.
how could i ever fall asleep looking at him? a revelation overcame me, i knew what to say. still pertaining to the rules of not speaking a word, i mouthed to him "youre perfect." i closed my eyes and rested myself even closer between his neck and his chin. i knew in his head he would be modest and say "no, not at all." its the type of person hes grown to be. this sly modesty, i wish he could realized how much that meant to me.
i cant say where the time when from there. it could of been an hour? but i swear it wasnt. a few minutes? no too short. thirty minutes atleast? i have no idea. but what i do know of is that i woke up to kisses. he wasnt being courteous of the sound he made while doing this either. "MUAH" to my nose, "MUAH!" to my cheek, "MUAH muah MUAH" to my other cheek, it did not stop until he had covered my face. half asleep, i didnt want him to stop, alas i wanted to sleep to for the laziness can take the better of me at times. hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahah i fail i being stephenie :/

poly started up again. mayn we have to do a 30 minute preformance for lunch one day. oh god practice makes perfect . . . but i have no legs. the inside jokes made between the school hours.


sorry for the boyfriend story again. :/ im a bore, i know.