sleep next to me

i realized why i always fall asleep next to you. when im there with my head placed in the curve between your shoulder and chest i have nothing to worry about. there is no wondering about what he is doing, who he is talking to, or worrying about if he still loves me. it just nothing but the smooth strokes of your fingers up and down my back side and your heart beat ringing in my ear. its just you and me, no one else. all the negativity melts away as i find your hand in mine.

_____________________

i just wanna keep us going as long as i possibly can. and i know its stupid for putting all my feelings of happiness into one person but so be it. fuck it all, if youre happy then im happy. if i am the one making you happy then i swear that ill be glowing. i will do anything for you, as long as youll have me.

there are times when i start to cry because i am afraid to love you to the fullest. i know that if i make you my everything again and if i lose you then ill have no one else. this extremely hard to admit... im back to where i use to be again. spending all that i have to make you see me in a little better lighting. i am down to my last dollar bills and counting up my cents to take you out or to buy you a gift. i am worrying my ass off over you once again. i find myself spending my wishes on you, holding your hand tighter, and kissing you more. all because i do not ever want to lose you.... im falling for you again and it scares the fuck out of me....

call me foolish, 

call me a confused,

but i know what love feels like

and it always keeps me wanting more of you