I am so sick :(

If this is really the end. I don't want it to be. We have so many unresolved things, so many things to do, so many subjects we have yet to talk about, so many unexpressed feelings of love, lust, longing, and all of the above. And I want to do them all with you and no one else. I am scared to admit that I am single. I am scared to say that I don't have you anymore. I wish you could help me sleep when I am tired like before. It was easier back then. It was organic. Why can't you see how much I want you and this? 

I am scared and I don't know which direction I should go in. I do not want to step in the wrong path and lose what little I have of you. I want to stay good for you, even if I feel like you're not doing the same... I don't know it is just a big worry of mine of course. If only I was as tired and as happy as yesterday. Hold my hand and let me lay on your chest again please. My request is so small. 

I am so sick and I wish you could help take care of me :( everything really does hurt. My ears, eyes, throat, my body. Please comfort me. 

"Love is not a mistake... I can't go find someone new because I am always thinking of her." - Neil Hilborn